An Appeal To The Nation

Mental, Car Roulette And OD on The Zzzzzzz's

Oh my, watch your mouth child!

I've just discovered that even my uncle reads my blog now, hello to you Uncle Barry. My success continues. Ha Ha Ha!

Today, well the whole of this week really, has been a complete write off for any activity outside somewhere with a roof. Flood, everywhere!!

On the way home from work this afternoon I nearly got plowed into, twice, by idiots in their stupid cars. Do you think the bad weather brings out the money grabbers???

"Yeah bad weather, I can get a new car here, smash into someone else, insurance payout . . .Yaaaaayyyyyy!"

Hmmmmm bloody people! Its not car roulette you know, although there's a good idea for a new game. Quick Penitent it!

Yesterday was rather funny. I'm slowly turning into my mother, heaven help me!

I did that classic line,

"I'm just going for a hours lie down!"

Yeah fourteen hours later I wake up, lucky really as I didn't set any alarm clocks. I tell you though it did me the world of good.

"So its finally happened, I always knew you'd go mental"
That was my neighbour this afternoon when he caught me washing the Fiesta in the pouring rain this afternoon. Actually I have a perfectly plausible reason. Its advertised in the newspaper for sale and it needed cleaning up before anyone came to view it. You can't wash cars indoors my darling! What do you mean I'd always knew you'd be mental. Okay so I may talk to myself every now and then and I think outside of the box, more than most people, but mental . . . slightly harsh isn't it??

Its my last day of breakfast tomorrow and quite frankly, harararar!! I don't mind getting up in the morning and doing all the normal crap, its the bloody bar snacks I can't stand. The guests at the moment are so fussy its beyond reason.

"Poached duck egg white with grilled mushrooms, no butter or oil"

You what, come on I bet you don't eat that crap at home??

Oh well 17 days left and counting . . . .

Before I go does anyone fancy coming to see HSM 3 with me again on Friday, get in touch yeah?? Okay must go,

Goooooddddddddbyyyyy'vvvvvvvaaaaahhh!

Ahhhh Zac!

Does anyone have a towel??
That’s how amazing HSM3 was and if I’m honest, which I try to be, I was borderline holding back the tears at some parts. Also when did Disney get bloom’ in Hot?? Flashing of underwear, bare flesh and snogging were clearly all key elements which made this movie the best of the trilogy.
Okay Jonathan Ross move over yeah??

So I’m actually writing today’s blog in my bedroom in the comfort of the cosy warm bed, the joys of modern technology?? How crap is the weather at the moment??
To think when I was in France last time I actually pined for a little bit of rain, Why Nath??
I calculated that I only have 18 days left at Carlyon Bay, wow that’s come along really quickly. I must admit that as each day goes by I’m switching off more and more,
“So what if its meant to have bread rolls with it, I don’t care!” Hang in there Nath, ha ha ha.

Plymouth was an eventful evening I tell yah. First I was running late because the bloody tumble drier didn’t do its job properly, then just before the junction into the city centre there was a massive car accident causing super, mega tailbacks. I think we were sat there for about 45 minutes, it was pretty nasty. I had to use my dad’s car because its much bigger than the Fiesta and even that went mental on us. The accelerator kept sticking at about 3000 revs, not good when there’s police everywhere. So we finally make it into Plymouth, after about 6 laps around the road system looking for somewhere to park, and George off of my ski season tells me where to meet up. Where the hell is Cuba bar on North Street, come on George I can barely find my way to the Barbican, and I go there at least once a week. By now the children were bickering and getting restless.
After lots of indecisiveness and a brisk jog across the city centre, I finally got chance to catch up.
I think I’ll go alone next time.

I’ve just come back from the delights of Scum Austell’s night life. Once again it was a complete wash out, rain storm included at no extra charge. To make everything much worse Beach Whale turn up, right as we enter Weitherspoon’s, yeah fantastic!!
I don’t care about Lee or the place where you don’t work anymore, Jesus Christ someone please OD the bitch on Antifreeze or something.
Please I’ll pay and everything.

Right stop waffling now Nath, it must be bedtime?? Although I don’t think I’m going to get much sleep, my body clock is all over the place at the moment. Breakfast shifts all week don’t bother me it’s the fact that I’m still busy at 2am and coming home to have afternoon naps. That is the messed up part, oh well, whose fault is it being so popular??

Hmmmmm on that note, good night everyone x x x

Todays The Day!

I thought it would be easier to post my Blog's now I have my brand, spanking new Laptop, but NOOOOOOO! There just isn't enough time in the day.
Hello fellow Internet users, how are we all today??
I'm watching 'Tv Burp' as I write this so sorri if I start waffling more than usual.

High School Musical night tonight, not only is it the last one but Its been awaited by my lovely self for 12 months now. I can for see dancing and singing along in the cinema screen. prepare yourself Plymouth VUE!

X Factor same shit different year??? I'm begining to think the phone lines are rigged, not only did that fat 'Ricky Gavais' lookalike escape eviction again this week, the whole thing seams such a cliche from the last 6 series. So what your wife's dead, get over it.
Although I still find my self Sky+'ing it every week.
Sam is off this week so my life is all about breakfast-ness for 8 days straight, which I know its not that bad, but I do like my lie-ins. Did we all enjoy our extra hour in bed this morning???
I spent it driving around the slums of Mevagissey, hurling abuse at people talking about STI's, grown up I know!!
Speaking of STI's, I know . . . We all know!!!

So the 'I Know Game', basically you text people in your phone address saying,
"I know your secret" and watch the reactions you get back. I was playing it today on my break at work and my word. Most people gave me the standard
"What are you on about?" but some of you were just plain silly.
My favourite had to be,
"Shit how did you find out?"
Oh my sides still hurt, give it a go and who knows you might find out something new about some of your friends.

Craig off of the kitchen is on holiday now, but last night made it his mission to take the piss out of Paul our boss, here's the results . . .

Oh funny I thought! Very accurate attention to detail.

Oh joy, okay well I'm off to prep my diaphram for a complete overdose on Zac Efron, I'll let you know how it goes later, Bye Ya'all!

Skype, Saw and Poo!

You don't get all of them in a sentence normally now do you?

Again sorry for not posting yesterday, I'm not actually sure where the day went to be honest. First I was playing Post Offices at home, waiting for about one millions different things to arrive and then I had to be in another six places, plus meeting up with some friends, as well as avoiding the new neighbours from across the road.

Uh don't even go there, that's a story for another day!!!

So finally my sparkly new laptop came yesterday and I think I've finished pumping full of all my crap like phone programs, songs and files blah blah blah. It is pretty cool and I'm chuffed with it, just one thing (There would be!) Its massive, I don't think a normal size laptop case will cover it. . . Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Never mind, and my Skype account is all set up ready to go now, I just need someone to talk to now. Please add me, my user Id is NATHANIMAL69, nice and easy.

Saw 5 is out today and I'm off to watch it straight after workie poo's. I can't actually wait its going to be "Sick"in the words of Nick Grimshaw off of Radio 1's Switch. . . . massive idiot!

Its the final film as well so finally we might understand what the hell has been going on for the last 5 years . . . Fingers crossed.

Do I smell or something????

I seam to be attracting massive amounts of poo!

Let me explain . . .

This morning I woke up and stepped outside and there was a lump of dog crap on the door step, yeah nice thanks for that!

Then in the house the cat had crapped all over the stairs on the way to the bathroom, which I only narrowly managed to avoid due to my sleepy head.

In the car park after work this morning the seagull's have been using the Fiesta as target practise with their shit.

And finally I got home today and someone . . .No names, hadn't flushed the loo eeeewwwwwww!

So now you see, Poo everywhere, what a pleasant day!

Lets hope it gets better from here on . . . Please say it does!

. . . Final warning for you, Just Google the word Poo like I just did for a picture to add to the Blog, Oh My Actually Gosh, that wasn't a pretty site!

Laters beloved ones x x x

Ebay . .

Mother, what the hell is this????



No really, I think she's been on Ebay again buying stupid things. The other day when I came in from work we had invested in a new knife rack, yeah great me need some new knifes.
It was a bloody man being impaled on the knifes . . . wow that's homely!
Stop buying crap women!!!!

Yesterday I managed to skive some hours off work and went shopping with the boss. Whilst we were in a toy shop, don't ask why, there was a life size Lego man.
How cool is that????
I tried taking a picture but the women behind the counter started asking questions, so I got scared and ran off!

It would of been funny if I was in the picture too. Never mind!

My Laptop is on its way, I have the confirmation email and everything, finally! Then I'll be blogging all the bloody time, watch where you step then!
Oh my, I didn't realise that Billie Piper off of 'Honey To The Bee' and 'Doctor Who' fame was pregnant. Did anybody else miss that or was it just me??? She had a baby boy this morning.

I'm feeling a bit 'BLAH' today, are you??
If you need something to make you smile this cold October afternoon, read this news story I've just found in today's papers
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7683826.stm
How the hell comes to mind??

I must shoot, busy afternoon you see, short and sweet today!

Another Airport??

What the hell, I didn't realise that the UK had so many bloody airports. Hayley off of the Neilson office said, and I quote,
"Yeah we'll fly you from Gatwick because its nice and close for you"
then I find out today I'm flying from East Midlands Airport! I've never even heard of it and when I flipped it into Google, neither had they. Maybe its one of those ghost airports which only appears from amongst the mist on certain times of the year?
Weird, wish me luck trying to get there on a train!

Hello by the way, Surprised as I am that I'm still awake at this time today??
Ha Ha well, it was a wicked night last night and I was still rather drunk on the way to work this morning to top it off. But strangely I'm not tired.
Maybe its because I was allowed to leave two hours early today, thanks PJ!

I'm so excited, not only is Justin off of the Liverpool down today, my Halloween party got the go ahead and we all know what day it is tomorrow . . . .


Oh yes, this is what I've been waiting for all year, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 is on!!!
I actually have goose pimples!
Anyway, yeah the Halloween party is on, that means lots of decoration shopping starts now. I think I have about 10 days to pull it off. Any ideas good ideas would be appreciated . . . .

Oh that reminds me Scott Mills didn't fail me again, good man. Every time I text his show he always seams to read my texts out, thanks Mr Mills! Catch it at about 2 Hours and 12 Minutes in on yesterdays show:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00f0nyf/Scott_Mills_20102008

Uhhhhh Mum wants me to make winter stu for dinner tonight, effort women!!!
So I'd better crack on, briefly though, here's a quick game you can play after reading today's Blog.
Count how many times I've written "I'm" or "I've"????
Its alot, that just proves it, . . . . it really all is about ME!
Love yah all x x x

Basically . . .

What happened was, it was really bloody miserable all day with light winds and fuck loads of rain showers. Enjoy your evening!

Well thanks BBC weather, cheers for that my darlin!

FYI, I've started on the wine already by the way . . . .

Evening all and yes I did get very wet in Truro this morning BUT I did manage to buy some rather amaz'in salopettes, a hat and a scarf. We're quater of the way there . . . I think?

Be aware if your hitting the sorri sights of St Austell town centre tonight, chef's ahoy! For some reason, I can't remember why, the Carlyon Bay seam to be going out in force tonight, even I'm drinking. I know what the fuck??

Feel free to join us all from 10pm onwards, come up and say 'Wat'ch' and if your lucky I might even let you touch me!

I can't imagin what tomorrow morning is going to bring though . . . We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

So in 'Topshop' today, here's me killing time whilst a friend was trying on pants or something I, like many of the other males walking around lost, looking increasingly uncomfortable, when I had an idea. Lets go and look at the underwear section, quids in!

So I trundled over, sorting through (In my mind) different designs and styles when I was struck by these . . .

Now forgive me if I sound out of order, but I couldn't help thinking

"If I peel these off my girl friend when we're being naughty, does that put me in the same league as Gary Glitter?"

We all like wearing cool pants, especially me, but is this to far??

I don't know maybe its just me??

On that note I should hit the showers!

I probably wouldn't hold your breath for a post tomorrow, but hey you never know I might even surprise myself.

Wish me luck, love you x x x

Vintage Video's

Oh My Word!!!
After cleaning up my Youtube I've just found this video!
Remember this people??

Martin's leaving do . . . Awwwww I miss Martin!
Okay that really is it until tomorrow
Love yah and such!

It Official!

That's it!
20th November 2008 I'll be leaving the delights of the Uk behind me and heading for the Alps. Sun, Snow and . . . . well sex. Hell yeah!
The countdown begins here!
Finally everybody who needs to know now knows and I can burst out of the 'hush hush' closet and tell the world. My boss was actually pretty good about it in the end, although I thought he might chance his attitude nearer to the actual leaving date.
Finally no more watching who listening, yahyyyy!

Yeah so apologies for not posting yesterday, I was trying my hardest all month not to miss a post but I've gone and buggered that up now haven't I . . . Rubbish!
Work, well I say work, some of the kitchen crew are planning a big night tomorrow evening, doing the scenes of St Austell. Care to join us anyone???
And the best thing about it all, I'm really up for getting totally messy, which I know isn't a very goods look, but sometimes when you really feel up for it, its game on.
To top it all off, I'm on breakfast the following morning . . . Amazing!!!!
Unfortunately I've managed to catch the seasonal cold, that everybody seams to have! Plenty of Vixx vapour rub and Chap-Stick for me at the moment . . . Its not a sexy look I must say.
Its not all bad though, I did manage to book my hotel for my mini adventure to Southampton in November, and what a bargain I must say! Good old Lastminute.com never seams to let me down.

Peter Kay's Gerildine might get to number one today in the Uk top 40 charts. I really hope he does actual! How funny would that be as the Official Number one recored.
Oh-dear!

Its just around the corner by the way . . .
High School Musical 3 is out on Wednesday and quite frankly I can't bloody wait!!
The sticker book is coming along fantastically thanks to the help of Mr Wise and good old ASDA!
Just need to find Zac now, any suggestions people???
Also here's something I bet you didn't know Kenny Ortega the director of the HSM trilogies actually choreographed Dirty Dancing back in the day . . . FACT!!!
No armatures here!

Okay are you ready for this??
Youtube is one massive place and lets face it there is a lot of stuff on there but really do we need shit like this . . .

Who has time to make this crap??? I mean I like Torchwood and dare I say it I like that Westlife song, oh that's going to come back and haunt me, but honestly not together. If you search on Youtube for that clip there are at least another 10 different songs with various clips all mashed up together!
Jesus get a girl/boi friend or something???

On that note I'm out of here . . . More tomorrow.

Ouchiness!

A combination of 'thinking it was a good idea' to let Kris draw a mustache on my face last night and then having to painfully scrub it off, And wiping my nose from this stupid cold I have.

Has resulted in a really, not so attractive, red raw mark across my face . . . Hmmm childish!

I tell you I'm not looking forward to shaving tomorrow, owwww the pain, someone brake out the Vaseline!

Ewwwww not like that!!

So Hollyoaks ended in saying a rather, poor attempt, at goodbye to Tina Mc Queen. I mean they could possibly get rid of any of the good looking ones now could they??

Who else would they put in the 2009 calender?

In the news today there is 'uprall' because Leona Lewis was booed at this years Mobo awards, all because she's black.

Now I don't want to start a race war here, but could there be the slightest possibility that she was booed because someone didn't like her????

Its the same with these football matches, just because one player is from a different origin and a person boo's them off, I can't just because because of the colour of their skin can it??

What has happened to this country????

Short and sweet today, I've got to dash off in to the delights of Scum Austell town centre.

Also today I should get the go ahead for my big Halloween party??

Oh My!!!

Oh my, alright???
I woke up this morning with one MASSIVE, ha ha ha I love that, pillow crease across my face which makes me look like a complete retard! And now to top it off I have the shakes in my hands!!!! I think maybe its that Diabetes poster taking revenges on me from yesterday!
Blast!!!

I was thinking last night on the way home from another night round and about Lostwithiel, you know St Blazey Gate, well where's the Gate??
I mean can you imagine having to get out the car every five minutes to open the gate, drive through, get back out again and close it in case the cows escape!
There's a similar set up in Gorran, on the way to one of the beaches and I tell you, I'm always worried that one day when I'm doing it the hand brake will slip and my Fiesta will go flying down the cliff top,
Noooooooo!!!!!

I've just spoken to Neilson HQ this morning, and I'm leaving sooner than I thought!
I've got to apologise to:
1. Emily as I'm going to miss her birthday by a week!
2. Ryan by bro, I'm going to miss your 16th by two days . . . How lame??
3. And a few other occasions in November!

Oh my doesn't even come into it! I need to do some serious shopping and get my arse in gear!!
36 Days everybody!!! Ekkkkkkkk!

My tour of really rubbish, but I can't help but watch them Tv shows continues with, Worlds Toughest Fixes. My lordy this program was funny. I think the only way you'll understand is if you watch it. The presenter is one of those really passionate ginger guys with a dodge bit of bum fluff on his chin. The work was actually rather interesting, but really it is so funny!
Catch it on you Sky Anytime by pressing red whilst in your planner, its worth a laugh, even if its just background noise!



Mmmmkkkkay must dash need to go and visit the shop before the delights of the massive Carlyon Whhhhhuuuuuttt hole!
Love You'll x x x

Just 4 Flippo!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay that's much better!

God I hate 1-10 shifts, its like twice as much hotel bullshit to deal with, without the clocking in and clocking out in between!

And Nevile, if your reading this, please just come out with whatever point your trying to make instead of roping it out all bloody day, that would be most appreciated not only by me, but by everybody.

Also at work today, rather randomly whilst I was downstairs looking for tinned tuna, I spotted a stuffed monkey vac-packed on the storeman's table. Now don't ask me why but I thought this was really funny. I mean really why is it there???

was it a freebie from one of the companies we use??

If it was, what a fucking crap gift that was, I'd rather have a box of Bourbons or something . . . but a monkey???

Whhhyyyyyyy?? I don't understand????

I forgot to mention, whilst I was in Falmouth the other night, I mad a brief stop off at the delights of ASDA. You know mixing it up a little, instead of St Austell go to Falmouth!

Anyways . . .

You know outside many shops and petrol stations you get big billboards with adverts normally selling cheese or washing powder, yeah?

Well this one was quality!!

Diabetes . . the silent killer!

What a wicked government warning,

"Yeah yeah, whilst you buy cakes and chocolate, don't forget, to much and you'll die of Diabetes okay, happy shopping"

Whats next??

"Beware fatty to many sweets and you'll die of obesity, enjoy!"

Dear me!!!!

Night Night x x x

Greg James Would Be Proud!

Oh my gosh, I found this video on my phone this afternoon whist I was flicking through it, bored! You remember Greg James off of Radio 1??? Well he has a game called the Flash Flash song, where basically he plays the music and you have to flash the nearest light on and off.
Ha Ha, random I know, but one evening on one of my mini adventures, I came across this in the middle of the road and I instantly thought of Greg!!



Pointless and stupid I know, but as you can tell by the laughter in the background, it was funny at the time. Guess you had to be there I suppose??

I had a bit of a clumsy day at work today. First I dropped someones lunch plate, then the Branston pickle went flying and to top the day off the fridge shelf collapsed with all the bacon trays on it. What the hell's wrong with me today??
And know one say retarded!!

Ewwwww today! I popped around my dad's house this afternoon after work. I was only there for about twenty minutes tops and came out stinking of cigarette smoke. Don't you hate that??
You wear your favourite T-shirt, wear it for about 10 minutes and now you smell like an ash tray.
Yeah thanks!!! Susan, Karen and Roxanne, I'm sending you the dry cleaning bill!!
. . . . Not that I dry clean my clothes but you get where I'm going right?

Oh I had a funny night last night, or should I say this morning?
After trapezing around the south of Cornwall in the Fiesta, nearly getting arrested in Tesco Truro and then bumping in to a Dogg'in convention in Falmouth, every things good. Also another person told me I should be a radio Dj. Ha Ha Ha can you imagine how funny that would be??
I think when I come back from Skiing this year, Fuck the hotel, I'm going to get a job at Asda Fm or something.
"That was Pink with So What, keep texting us whilst you shop yeah on 81199"
Ahhhh funny!!!

Spam and mayonnaise sandwich, Is that wrong?? That was my dinner this evening, I'm not sure why, but I have this massive 'thing' for Spam at the moment. Maybe its because its so deliciously retro or that its just a huge cliche. Its nice thought. Also mushrooms?? Yeah I really have gone off of them recently, they just remind me of . . . . I don't know, manky marsh mellows, which grow in crap!!
WWWhhhhhuuuuuuuuutttttt!

On that note, tatty bye've
x x x

Rave Up!!

How amazing is this song??????

Sorri I'm feeling slightly 'Mash Up Brap Brap' today, I'm not sure why??
That song is definitly going in the car this afternoon.

Hello everybody, every things porno I hope?
My sides still hurt from laughing at Peter Kay's thingy last night on Channel 4, did you watch it? Moyles hasn't shut up about it all morning on the radio. Good work Mr Kay!
Also in the world of Tv, I've just started watching 'Ice Road Truckers' on the Discovery channel, that shit ain't bad as they say in the slums of Sandy Hill!
Basically every year in the very north parts of Canada the sea freezes and makes a big thin bit off ice between the north pole and Canada. Random companies and even random truckers drive oil and gas drilling equipment across the frozen sea. It really cheesy American dribble, but you know what I think is pretty good to watch.
Check it out on the Internet or on Thursday nights on the Discovery channel.

Right, I'm flaunting between Hillside Garage in Polgooth and my own garage all day today because of various Fiesta goings on, but on one run this morning some guy on his push bike was in the middle of the road and refused to let me pass.
What a chopper!!
Yeah, yeah good for you being all healthy and such but dude, get the hell out of the way. That's precisely why I installed the in car bike bell! He had to double take when I wound down the window and gave him the old "Ding a Ling", as I flew past laughing!
Remind me what are cycle tracks for again???? All that tax payers money gets poured into making a country wide cycle track to encourage push bikes, but the bastards still use the middle of the road. Yeah lets hope there's no collisions because we all know who's going to come out worse off!

Hollyokas is hotting up this week, it all bloody kicks off! I think at this rate by the end of the week half the cast will be dead. Don't miss an episode this week.
Also has anyone seen that Big Brother/Zombie program Channel 4 are plugging . . . now that looks interesting!
Davina as a zombie, now why does that turn me on??

More later if your lucky x x x

Airport Madness!

The neighbour is outside the window chopping wood like there's a credit crunch on the way???

Oh-No wait there is!!!!

What is it about airports???

I had to go to Newquay airport today to pick Dan up from his round the country tour, he only went to Manchester, but anywheres better than St Austell isn't it?

I love airports, they are so random. Its one of the few places in the world where people act so abnormally, for example I was sitting in the shed, by shed I mean the arrivals lounge at the newly refurbished terminal, waiting for Dan when a few other people joined me. One old lady looked really pissed off and rushed off her feet, then there was the young couple who wouldn't stop kissing because I'm guessing they were being separated. But my favourite was the middle aged mum who hugged her daughter for about twenty minutes and I mean twenty minutes, it was almost embarrassing.

So ten minutes pass and someone decides to kick the drinks machine because his £1 can of Coke gets stuck, whilst the massive, butch, tattooed to shit guy stares me out from behind the Taxi Booking Desk. All I could think was . . . .

"Did he recognise me from the Dogg'in pictures on Facebook?, he looks the type"

Finally the security door opens and people start coming through all queing up to pay the car park fee. I see Dan and we chat for a few minutes whilst we wait. In the mean time some elderly couple infront hold the whole line up because they can't understand why there's no stick bit on there parking ticket.

Oh just scan it and pay how ever much the bloody thing tells you ...

Seriously some old people should just stay at home with their millions of pension pounds!

Finally we made it out of the car park and it feels like I've spent all day in that place. This is only

Newquay airport, can you imagine what I'm going to be writing in a months time when I've been to Gatwick airport all morning . . . Be prepared for that one blog fans!

Peter Kay's Britain's Got The Pop Factor is on tonight and I think this could be rather amazing you know. Its on at 8pm on Channel 4, so be sure to set you Sky+ everyone.

I've had a headache all day today, I think this could be all my mums fault you know! She always gets migraines and headaches and finally its become hereditary. There are not enough Ibuprofen tablets in the whole of Tesco and Asda put together which will clear it either, maybe I'll try to get into the doctors. If I make an appointment tomorrow I should get to see someone by November this time I recon!

Another day off tomorrow and another badminton match. Hunkin Vs Edens/Witton, its game on! Feel free to come and watch the drama unfold at the Rugby Club about 8 o'clock sharpish!

Mother's back tonight and I haven't stopped cleaning all bloody day, I swear the house is the tidiest its been since we moved in. Well maybe that's an overstatement but she did promise to buy me and Ry something Nice in return. Now mother's Nice is always worrying!

Is it going to be a mum likes this nice or will it actually be a half decent gift????

I'll tell you what it is tomorrow, stay tuned!

I'm off, sorri if I waffled a bit today I know its not quite worth the Turner Price but still . . .

x x x

Incriminating Evidence!

As Katy Perry says,

"Just to try it yeah!, Its just human nature!"

Soooooooooo there might be some really Dodge looking photo's posted on Facebook of Alex and myself half naked in a lay-by somewhere.

Like this one . . . .

Let me explain myself please!

Basically someone at work asked what I did when I go on drives out and about in the car. They couldn't just accept that I enjoy driving around in my amazing Fiesta, listening to music at full blast and getting up to mischief!

BUT NO, some sad bastards with no life like stalking people in their spare time . . . well whatever turns you on!!!!

Anyways, without getting side tracked, a rumor appeared fresh from the great Carlyon Bay Rumor Mill that my friends and I go Dogg'in.

Well that was it I took that one and ran!!!!

Armed with a digital camera and a different car we made loads of stupid, over the top pictures and posted them on the net.

Simply to mock and take the piss of those sad, narrow minded bastards in the hotel!!!

Jokes on you, (You know who you are) because you can say whatever the hell you like about me and any of my friends, but at the end of the day:

1. I'm smarter,

2. More popular, and

3. 100 Times more interesting

. . . . than you'll ever be!

Owwwww and breath!!!

Right that's cleared that up, hopefully!

I've just got home, mum's off in London again and there's no one home. Its Saturday night with the house to myself . . . Party anyone???

Ry's at his friend Matt's house and I even think the neighbours are out, come on!

I fixed the Fiesta today, all by myself. I won't bore you but replacing a wishbone and lining the steering all by myself, that's gotta be worth a pat on the back from someone???

Nope . . . . Okay then!

So I'm off tomorrow and Monday which is pretty cool. I think Sunday is going to be a, clean the house before mother gets home type of day. I have to pick Dan up from the airport in the afternoon, which again should be rather funny. I'm sure he'll have some quality stories to share with me.

AND . . . I have his contract for him to sign, fu*k me Danny, there's no going back now mate, we're in it together now buddy!

Ha Ha, right I'm done with blogging today I think!

Love you all, well most of you x x x

Our Time Is Running Out!

. . . . Well mine is anyway!

Dear God I calculated today that its only 6 weeks until I leave. Shit!!!

I better write my notice tonight!

And I have a million things that needs doing before I go ahhhhhhhh, damn it Janet!

Although I did invest in a very important going away item on my travel list today.

Yeah I bought a laptop, a new one and everything! After trying for months to buy my old one from ebay but being outbid to the point it just wasn't worth it, I said to myself

"Just buy a bloody new one" . . . I did actually say that in the middle of the high street this morning, hopefully no one was listening!

"Oh look mummy there's that crazy guy from Asda, the one with the pink trainers", shut it yeah kid!!

Okay so I've just flipped on the trusty Freeview box for some back ground music and I'm split with a choice of 4Music channel or TMF, both of them are showing New Kids On The Block top 50 songs of all time. Ohhhh what choice! To top it off the songs are different . . . Err somethings wrong there I think???

How fat????

I went to lunch twice today, talk about being double booked! first with mother at the delights of the Polgooth Inn and then second with Lucy off of the pastry at the Carclaze. Feeling sick now, no dinner for me thanks mum.

. . . . Oh no I cook dinner at home not mum (Rolls Eyes!)

The Fiesta is off the road for a few days whilst its having its wish bone renewed. Ha it sounds like surgery, I can picture it all wrapped up in a bandage and everything . . . . Medic call the nurse!!

So anyway that means its Daddy's car for me for a few days, you know the 1.8i Rover . . . .

No Nath no joy riding!!!!!

. . . . Call me later yeah peeps!

Okay must dash Cinema ahoy tonight!

Love yoa'llll x x x

Oh P.s Check out the new SAW 5 Trailer . . . How many more can they make????

Wax On Wax Off!

Wat'ch as the great Sara Cox once said.

Hello my faithful subjects, I trust all is well.

So I'm off today and I have a list as long as my arm, of things to-do. I'm half way there I've gotta say. I took the Fiesta, not mine but the project one, to the garage this morning for its MOT and guess what it FAILED, rubbish. Its always the things I can't do as well, for example the garage man magically found £200 worth of welding to do. . . . Just like that!

But apart from that everything else is gravy; housework done, washings out, granny is about to be visited and mothers prescription is picked up.

I even had chance to wash and wax my Fiesta today, how efficient??

Any questions class???

Nope good, moving on.

I'm going winter shopping tomorrow, now its either going to be a new MP3 player or some of the essentials on the list, such as gloves, new hat etc . . . I'm so excited yayyyy!

Also yesterday at work I caught some people talking about my blog, Uh-Oh I didn't actually think people read this blab! I think maybe i should watch what I'm saying now! Not that I slate many people on her but still . . . . . Sue smells of fish!

Badminton tonight, finally! Its on;y taken like three attempts to play Sam and Craig, but Craig if you are reading this . . . Not the face yeah mate!!

In the news today Google have invented a new system to stop you email'in your ex when you've had a bit to much of the sauce. I can't say I've ever emailed someone whilst being pissed up, but I can guarantee with all done the embarrassing jolly'ed up text or phone call at 3am. Basically late at night the system comes online and before you are able to send it you have to answer some maths questions. Slight floor though Mr and Mrs Google, don;t you think people will just Google the answers????

I know I would, or even better just get a new email address not owned by the Internet giant!

Hmmmmm I wonder how much someone got payed for that amazing idea???

Munch you later x x

Light News Day!

Rude!
No one got back to me about borrowing Zac Efron yesterday . . . Uh world keeps spinning for another day I suppose!

So I slept rather splendidly last night, without waking up or nothing! (Vikki Pollard English)
Which was a nice change, although
I do seam to have a looming headache this afternoon. The plan was to escape work at 3 o'clock and not return until Saturday afternoon BUT savour of the Carlyon Bay, That's Me By The Way, has to return again tonight due to illnesses of other people.
Uhhhhhh effort, there goes my badminton match!!!!

Speaking of Badminton Ry, my little bro, was actually rather good at the game yesterday. If he works on his technique we'll be a good team. Anybody fancy a challenge???
I can't really think what to write today so here's a random one for you . . .

Remember this ????



Yeah the delights of Princess Superstar! She was cool back in the day and to think, back in the day was only around ten years ago. Owww how its changed since then.

Love you x x

Oh P.s Happy birthday Gran, She's 83 today . . . Big you up!

Small Favour???

If Anyone Is In London Or The Surrounding Area PLEASE Kidnap Zac Efron For Me!

Come To Think Of It If You Can Get Ashlee And Zac Together That Would Be Fu*king Amazing!

Name Your Price . . . .

Face Of ACTUAL Concern??

Okay I'm an emotional guy, I admit it, there’s nothing wrong with boi’s crying once in awhile.
In fact everyone needs a good old ‘let it out’ to refresh themselves. But seriously work at the moment is crushing!
Everybody is so bitchy and agro it’s not a pleasant atmosphere at all. If it not the head chef telling everyone how crap we all are and we are wasting so much money with every last breath we take it’s the, quite frankly, shocking new menu we’ve started this week. I never thought I’d ever say that about the hotel, even when I first started and didn’t really understand the whole food industry it never occurred to me once,
“Wow that dish is scandalous!,” but now!!!!!
Regrettably I can’t wait to leave this time around . . . I’m sorry everyone! Oh and sorry for ruining Christmas for the kitchen staff as well, some how that’s my entire fault as well.
If you’d like compensation please contact my solicitor. . . .

Craig has ventured off to the big city today to see the Good Food Show in that there London. About 2pm the bugger sent me this picture . . .



Lucky bastard, that’s only Mr. Marco Pierre White off of the chef’s books and the Tv box. Nice one Craig, that’s going to be your Facebook profile picture for a long, long time I’m guessing?

Was anyone else creeping in at around 3Am on Saturday night/Sunday morning? If yes did you witness the amazingly clear starry sky? If I had a telescope I could have sat there for hours upon actual hours star gazing. It was the prettiest thing I’d witnessed in bloom’ in ages. Shame it was wasted on so few people . . . Lucky me!

Right thought of the day yeah?
Why do men, mostly old guys, take so long in the toilet??? Think about it, some of them even take the newspaper in there with them! I mean how long does it take for god sakes???? You’re not giving birth to a baby with 6 hours labor!!

. . . . Finally if anyone cares, someone might, Celebrity Big Brother is coming (Again) and here's one face which might be walking into the Diary room this year.
Verne Troyer off of Mini Me fame. How cool will that be, alothough I can't help but feel he's slightly starpped for cash.

I'm off to the delights of the sweaty gym in abit, so must dash . . .
Laterz Blog readers x x x

B . . . Low Job And Easy ITV!!

Uh Xfactor annoys me!

If they keep letting the 15 year olds through and then 6 episodes down the line come out with that classic line

"Oh I think their to young"

Well no shit Simon the kids are 15, they're still getting free school milk at lunch times for fuck sake!

Also what the hell in Sonita wearing, and is it even legal?

I think I'm going to back Liam off of Simon's choices. Lets make High School Musical become reality. Just think Disney actually inspired someone . . . . Go Disney, Go High School Musical . . . Go Zac!!

Hi everybody, whats the 411???

I've ran around today backwards and forewords, upside down and almost inside out. The poor clock has racked up the miles in Newquay, Truro and the delights of the outskirts of Scum-Austell all bloom'in day . . . . And rest!

So I've just finished watching 'Coming Of Age' on the iplayer. That is a funny program. Its on Tuesday nights, BBC 3 normally at about half nine. From the makers of 2pints and a packet of crisps, if you've been to college or Uni you'll understand exactly where they are coming from! Seriously set you Series Link on Sky+ up now . . . .

Back to Xfactor . . . .

So I'm watching it now as I write this and in true ITV style there's an advert brake every twenty six seconds when they can blab about laptops and crap from the Carphone wearhouse. Anyways, now the new thing is promoting ITV's new shows, the COMING SOON Ira.

If its not a half hour trailer for the new (Two year old) Harry Potter film on Sunday night, its a mega mix of flashing and someone hitting a drum a hundred thousand times in front of pictures of Maxxi off of skins, promoting the new Britannia High series.

Damn you ITV, stop trying to take over the world, Sky have already accomplished that leave it alone yeah??

Right must dash I've got an appointment with my bathroom mirror before L2 happends!

C'est la Vie x x

Fly Spray!!!

In many forms!

The lounge seams to be infested with flys today. Everywhere. Well not that extreme but enough to annoy the pants off of me when I'm trying to watch tv or something. Mother blatantly wasn't going to do anything about it other than continually shout

"Uh fucking flys", every five minutes. So I plodded along down to the shop, invested in some Rapid Kill (Sounds great doesn't it?) and fumigated the whole bloom'in house. All for the small prise of £1.79.

One slight draw back, we can barley breath now, but the flys are dead. That's good right??

So anyway it got me thinking, do you think they do like a human equivalent. Maybe not one that kills people, but something that I could use as a deterrent. Someone comes in flys around the room and annoys the socks off of you, out comes the 'Rapid' and bang they disappear somewhere else.

How amazing?????

I could take it to work and use it on some of the annoying Kp's or even the so called directors which hover around the kitchen all day asking stupid questions like;

"Is this Toad in the Hole for staff lunch?"

No its cheesy pasta, what else does sausages in batter look like. Come on David Dickinson lookalike. . . . .

So there, if there's any spray makers out there wanting a new idea, that's yours to keep okay?

This morning, no come to think about it, today was bloody cold wasn't it. Talk about practise for the winter season. One minute its shorts in Asda at 10 o'clock at night, the next its scarf and coat sat in the car for 10 minutes for it warm up before going anywhere. Yeah thanks for that mother nature. Is it to much to ask for a pre warning first??

Its the last day of Scott Mills cam today, I'm watching now, so make the most of the last few hours. This morning Moyles woke him up with the loudest alarm clock in the actual world. It seams to have been a bit of a random week to be honest with guests from Britney to Boyzone and random games involving a Pumpkin and a potable sauna. People will do anything for comedy purposes. Log on and catch up at www.bbc.co.uk/scottmills/scottcam

. . . . and no I'm not getting commission for the BBC!

So I'm off on tour on Saturday night. Well were braking away from Scum 8 and heading for L2 in the delightful townage of Truro. I do have one more space in the Fiesta if anyone fancies tagging along? Let me know please thank-you-ness!

Love you x x

Dreams ?!*@

Damn dreams!
Seriously I woke up this morning well spun out!!!
You know when you have such a random dream you think, what the fuck was that about?? Then you feel the compelling urge to share it with someone to try and shed some understanding on it, you can't remember half of it and you feel like a right dumb as!
I woke up this morning vaguely remembering something about going to the beach with Britney Spears and Greg James off of Radio 1 and then going to Weatherspoons in the middle of a bomb scare!
Yeah just wheel me into the crazy clinic at Bodmin hospital and leave me there yeah!!
Random . . .

My mate Boris Johnson has been at it again, except this time hes only gone and won a bloody award for being . . . well himself really.
The crazy blond haired politician has on the Oxford dictionary award of the year for the use of one of his many catch phrases "Cripes" . . .
You see I think we could all learn from the big B man, he's blatantly found a new way of reverting the common curse word to an attractive new alternative. Picture it with me, were in the middle of the kitchen, its a crappy night and then someone drops a whole tray of 'Ala carte', costing about £50. Why shout every unpleasantly under the sun, raising your blood pressure, pushing you to an inevitable early grave when you could mealy use
"Oh Cripes!" . . .
Yeah take note Mr Ramsey.
Boris for king, that's what I say!
Must dash I have the delights of the so called work to look forward to!

More later, if your lucky x x x

Hats????

Does anyone have any ideas in which I can bump off my brother's budgie?
It f**king annoying. Every time I play a song or even make a bloody sound it starts cheeping away like its deep in the frig'in Amazon rain forest. What I don't understand is that the other two birds have long gone and died but this damn thing just won't die. I'm not into animal cruelty don't get me wrong, but I would support any type of law which encouraged budgie euthanasia.
Uhhhhhh answers on a pretty little post card please. But not one of those tacky ones you get in seaside resorts with dodgy cartoons off fat women in bikinis on them though, keep it clean yeah?

So Hats . . . .
Due to the extreme lack of staff in our shambles of a restaurant, the chefs have bailed the management out by offering to stand behind the hot buffet at breakfast time and serve eggs.
Seriously its a state! The amount of times you have to repeat yourself to the deaf and partially disabled 150 year olds is just not cricket at 8am! So what if they're rich, its meant to be a four star hotel not a fucking daycare hospice.
Anyways the delightful David Dickinson (Richard Brend) thought it would look more professional for the chefs to wear a tall paper hat, you know for presentation purposes. Dear god not only are the company cheap skates that we invested in the crappy budget kind, but they are pathetically over sized. And guess who's turn it was to do hot buffet this morning???
That would be me then . . . Blast!
Seriously when I walked into the kitchen at 7:30am today I looked like a living geography project for my little brother.
"And here we have Nathan dressed as the Leaning Tower Of Pizza"
. . . . for fuck sake, it wasn't the hottest look, but hey I'm no fashion expert. Maybe I'll ask Topman if they'd like to invest in the chef's around the globe look????
Don't get me wrong, I like hats especially when your trying to carry off the winters coming/Snowboarder look. . . .

I don't know, not long left now anyways . . .
Its not all bad news though. The word is finally beginning to spread about this so called "Blog" I've got to say a massive thanks to people who are commenting back and actually read my installments. Some of you guys are even talking about me your Facebook's, how awesome??
I thought it was mainly just dribble but now it appears more people are in on our dirty little secret than I originally thought . . . . Hello to you, you know who you are!
Keep up the good work yeah???

Okay well I smell of onions, which really isn't doing it for me I must say. Maybe that's why the budgie won't shut up?? So I think its time for a shower!
Don't forget to watch Fonejacker & Rick And Steve tonight on E4 from 10pm . . .
Laters people of the Internet world x x x